untitled
The ego as a parasitic system
nested within the mind.
A complex of thought forms;
The metabolism fulled by “I”.
Freedom.
freedom is the only quality of value and it’s attainment merits any method of liberation.
So, I’m at the farm. I’m spending all of my free time studying, and all of my working hours meditating. I’m studying general systems theories and permaculture design at the present moment.
The book I’m working on now -The Web of Life- is a good introduction to systems thinking, which is nice considering that I’m going to approach Buckminster Fuller’s Synergetics soon… wish me luck.
I’ve got two more months of this lifestyle, which should afford me the chance to harvest quite the intellectual bounty. Luckily for you guys, and myself, I still have access to tumblr.
>8P
Taking a break from packing.
I’m about halfway through packing for my trip to Arkansas. I’m going to work on a small organic family farm for the summer. I will work roughly 5 hour days 5 days a week. I will be refraining from caffeine, nicotine, processed sugar, and alcohol as well as any other psychotropics.
I plan on meditating daily, starting up dream yoga again, and maintaining a fairly intense study regimen. My main priority for studies will be Buckminster Fuller’s Synergetics, but I’m also going to read a book called Gaia’s Garden for the permaculture apprenticeship that will follow the initial farming excursion. Hands Of Light will also be high up on my priorities seeing as the apprenticeship also deals with energy healing and massage therapy.
I would like to start a mild exercise routine as well, but I’m not sure how that will pan out. I’m excited to eat organic food exclusively and work outside.
Although I have met some amazing people over the past year, I understand that the moon not only waxes but also wanes; and so I will not cling. As I type this I still feel the pain of letting go completely of those I have grown close to. I love my friends with all of my heart, but I have bigger plans for my heart than a few acquaintances.
I will psychologically assimilate the personalities I have projected outwards and integrate my interpersonal experiences. Through interacting with others I have accumulated baggage, and over the next month I will become empty. I know this is going to be painful, it always is, but the path to wholeness incorporates all types of experiences. Willingness to cut off useless limbs is a necessity. The only way to truly learn from mistakes is to experience the consequences.
I can feel the fires raging already, and they need air to do their job. I’m hoping I can find that in the Ozarks.
knowledge has liberated me from knowledge.
I had a dream.
In it I met my Anima and she was intelligent. That’s a first, and it was awesome.
Untitled.
Would it be rude to forget everyone I ever knew?
I’m not really interested in being anything for you
and I don’t have any roles for you to play.
I know it is nice to imagine someone else will fix your problems
or fill in your empty spots, but that’s impossible.
I want to be exactly what I am as hard as I can.
I want to cut ties with everything I love.
I want to drown in an ocean of my fears.
I want to burn away everything I thought I was
and discover what I have really been all along.
Nothing can be off limits;
all boundaries must be tested with fire.
What do you have to lose?
Everything you cling to.
re-waking
I fell asleep about 10 months ago after a brief period (about a month) where I had begun to wake up. I’m burning my way out of slumber again.
